


Stars

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And fanart, Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Polyamory, Post-Sburb, Sadstuck, So many ships, Suicide, blaegj, i find zero fucking fics for this, im p sure this will be sadstuck kinda so, leave me alone, no fanarr and i just, okay, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:13:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3458675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-sburb au. Roxy remembers everything, her friends dying, her mother dying in her arms. Eventually, despite being happy with her friends hers and now she ends her life, leaving her best friends to find our why and possibly fall in love along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [breath_e](https://archiveofourown.org/users/breath_e/gifts), [Gh0st_Meme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gh0st_Meme/gifts), [KankriGoneDeaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KankriGoneDeaf/gifts).



Remembering ones past life would be amazing to most. To Roxy not so much. The recurring nightmares, her friends deaths, hell even their parents deaths. It was all too much for her.

It hurt her beyond belief. Every night having these memories slash nightmares. She tried to talk to her friends, to her mother, but none of them believed her.

It was times like these that she most thought about it, about the gun of her mothers not too far from her room.

That's when she would drink, forget what's happening.

But that didn't happen this night.

Days ago she had finally gotten sick of it, looking at her friends, her mother, and seeing the death, seeings the marks on Dirks neck, the hole in her mother's chest along with the hole in both Jane and Jakes, so she locked herself in her room, but even then there were so many reminders of her friends there. The wizard hat in the corner from Jane, the robot cat Dirk had made her walking around her room and the giant martini glass that sat in the window Jake had given her as a joke.

Roxy just couldn't get away from it all. The pain, the memories, it was all far too much for her.

Roxy's hands shook as she sat at her computer, Skype open, the group chat with the four friends blowing up with Roxy's messages.

tipsyGnostalgic: hey guys

tipstGnostalgic: so ive tried to talk to u about this but non of u believed me

tipsyGnostalgic: and its gotten to the point that i cant do this anymore

tipsyGnostalgic: its driving me insane

tipsyGnostalgic: goodbye friends

She closed out Skype and stood up, taking a deep breath and walking out quietly, her mom usually was up late writing so she had to be sneaky. She slipped into the office, her mother was asleep on the desk so she just had to be quiet. She quietly went to her moms safe and opened it, pulling the small pistol out. She took a deep breath when her mom shifted but calmed when she let out a soft snore. Roxy crept back to her room, sitting on her bed. She could hear the dings of Skype from her phone as she sat the gun on the side table. She took a deep breath and grabbed a notebook from her bag, sitting on the bed with her pink gel pen that seemed way too immature at the the moment. She wrote a note for her mom. She didn't want to just leave her without leaving something.

After a quick, shakily written note that she sat on her bedside table Roxy took the gun in her hand again, running her fingers over the cool metal. She flicked the safety off and held it to her head. After a moment she switched, putting it to the bottom of her chin. She took a deep breath before pulling the trigger.

 

* * *

 

 

Dirk, being the night owl he was, got the messages first. After reading them he went into a slight panic, fear over taking him at what his friend might be doing to herself.

timaeusTestified: Roxy.

timaeusTestified: Roxy answer me!

timaeusTestified: Please don't do this.

timaeusTestified: I'm on my way. Stay put and please don't hurt yourself.

Dik stood as fast as he could, quickly throwing on shoes and a jacket before running out of the house, quickly heading to Roxy's which wasn't far from the apartment building he lived in. As he ran his mind drifted, out of their group of friends Dirk and Roxy wee two of the closet friends, Dirk would even so far as to say she was his best friend, and the thought that she might be about to kill herself horrified him to no belief. The cold air of the night hit his face as he ran faster at the thought, he knew something had to have been up with her, and he cursed himself for not checking up on her sooner.

Dirk made it there soon, instantly moving to bang on the door but something stopped him, a loud bang. Not just any kind of bang though, a gun shot. That's when he kicked down the door, when he ran as fast as he legs would take him up the stairs, shoving Roxy's door open. "Roxy!" The scream was more high pitched then he ever thought his voice would be, it made his ears ring and his throat burn. He could feel the tears pooling down his cheeks at the sight of his best friend and her brains splattered on the walls of her pink and white room. His legs gave out and he feel to his knees, sobs racking his body, he didn't know what to do or how to feel about it. He blamed himself He could've done something to stop it, to help her, he could've done  ** _something,_ _anything,_** to save her.

It wasn't long before Dirk heard a scream come from behind him. Rose Lalonde finding her daughter dead, with her best friend sobbing on the floor.

 

* * *

 

 

The funeral was a few days later and Jane, Jake and Dirk couldn't believe she would do anything to herself like this. Jane and Jake cried the whole time, meanwhile Dirk was bottling his feelings up, trying to keep as stoic as ever, but in his mind he was so confused, so upset, he wanted her back, he wanted her to be there.

It was a closed casket funeral and Dirk was glad, he didn't think he could handle seeing her after the way he saw her last. After Ms.Lalode found Dirk and Roxy she pulled him out of her room, called an ambulance and Dirks brother to come get him. Dirk was to tore up to say anything against it. He never cried, he was a Strider after all but this was his best friend.

He didn't tell Jane and Jake he was crying either though.

After the funeral was over they all started just walking, Jake was still crying and Jane was still tore up but not as bad, Dirk figured losing her girlfriend would do that though. They found their way to the park and sat down on a bench together, Dirk rubbed at Jake's back. "It's okay Jake... I understand."

Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was just the fact that he was upset but Jake snapped. "No you don't Strider!" His accent was thicker then normal. "You don't understand because you don't have feelings! You found her and you didn't even cry Dirk! You're a fucking machine!" He started punching his chest until his punches turned sloppy and he just fell. Dirk let him punch and hurt him, he knew he needed it, after he tired himself out Dirk wrapped his arms around him. "It's okay Jake... It's okay you'll be okay... We all will."

"No we won't." Jake sobbed. "Roxy was out rock... She held us together and... And we need her... I need her." He sobbed.

"I'm sorry Jake... But we'll make it through this together okay?" He shakily nodded and Dirk sighed, kissing Jake's.

And they sat there, together, on a bench at the park,

and they cried.


	2. Chapter 2

Most people would mourn their friend for a while and then move on, almost as if it had never happened.

That's not how it went for Dirk. Dirk just couldn't get the scene out of his head, he couldn't forget his best friend. He had taken to locking himself in his room most of the time, sitting on his bed with his knees to his chest, he didn't know what to do now that his friend was gone.

No one had used the group chat since the night Roxy died, so Dirk was shocked when he heard his phone go off and upon looking finding the old group chat, with the simple name Roxy had given it 'WE R TEH MEEM HEROS', it usually made you laugh, she would change it back if someone changed it and it would always have different typos in the name.

You're fairly sure the three of you had a quiet agreement to never change it again.

gutsyGumshoe: Hey guys.

gutsyGumshoe: I think we need to talk...

gutsyGumshoe: Can you guys meet me at the ice cream parlor, please?

gutsyGumshoe: I'll see you guys there if you show up.

Dirk sighs a bit and rubbed his eyes as he stood. He changed clothes and left the house.

Once he was there he was surprised to find Jake and Jane already sitting there. He slowly walked over, sitting next to Jane.

Jane ran a hand through her short hair, sighing.

"I'm actually surprised you showed up Dirk..." Jake muttered.

"Yeah..." He muttered. "What did you want to talk about Jane?"

"A few things..."

"Is it about... You know..." Jake muttered, wrapping his arms around himself.

Jane sighed.  "Unfortunately, yes.  Me and her mom looked around her room a bit, her mom was trying to find out why she... You know..." Jane sighed again. "We found this..." She dug around her pockets for a moment before sliding a piece of paper onto the table, a quite cruel drawing on it. 

"Holy fuck..." Dirk muttered, he never thought Roxy could draw something like that, or even think it up in the first place. "Isn't that... Us...?" Jane nodded softly.

"Oh god..." Jake muttered, pressing his face into his knees. "How could she... Where did she get the idea...?"

"We have no idea... I think she might've been having nightmares... Bad ones, but I don't know for sure. We found some more stuff too... A journal specifically... It has this crazy story in it, about us and... Some other kids that are apparently our kids? I don't know... We know how confusing she was but... I have the book... Do either of you wanna read it?"

"I kinda do." Dirk mumbled under his breath. 

"Yeah, you can, maybe see if you can make some sense of it... Jake are you okay?"

"I just... Still can't believe she's dead..."

"None of us can." Jane said softly. "But we have to, we have to find out why she did it and... Maybe we'll end in some peace.."

"Hopefully." Dirk said, resting the journal Jane gave him in his lap. "For now, we do our research, we try to find out what pushed her to do this, we find out who pushed her to do this. Okay?" Jake nodded.

"Of course." He smiled weakly at the small group. "Thanks... For being here."

"No problem Jake, we're always here for you, always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short as fuck hut I'm attempting to start writing again, I took a sorta break to kinda et myself together and stuff but now I'm gonna start working on this again, chapters may be short though cause I am working on a phone since I currently don't have a laptop


End file.
